The shadow of the day will embrace the world in grey

How does it feel to be in another world?

2011-03-15T17:00:00.005+08:00

It's the March holidays again. I'm quite surprised and also very glad that we weren't bombarded with homework just this once. Here I am actually taking time out to write this post, which is going to be super long. I have so much things to say, so many thoughts and problems bottled up inside my mind. Its been one and a quarter years since I entered hell. Another 8-9 monthss to go. So many things have came and gone and I havent had time to really stop and rest.

The physical surroundings and conditions in NJ have improved considerably. At least we have the aircon on during most of our lectures now and less knocking and banging going on. Dear empress dowager actually spent a few hours of her royal time trying to convince us how much effort and money she had spent on these improvements. Well, at least she's trying. Moreover, I also get to go back at about 2-4pm on most days now, except when I have CCAs. Having said this, life in NJ hasnt improved one bit for me. If anything, it has just gotten real bad. I know I've had my ups an downs before but I really didnt' know my life could descend to such a level it has never reached before at this moment.

There's just this tinge of sorrow, disappointment, loneliness and heartache etched in my heart these past few months that I havent been able to get rid of. Its like I've been spending so much energy and effort trying to survive NJ that I havent realised how troubled I really am. I dont know who I really am anymore. I feel like an empty shell, thrown into the storm, far far away from my friends away, disfigured and changed. I also realised that I'm starting to have a phobia of the word 'friends'. Whenever I hear anything about friends, I just feel like shutting my ears and running far far away.

The people whom I once laughed, joked and argued with are long dead. They don't exist anymore. My world now is just filled with empty superficial shells like myself all just trying to survive in this harsh and cruel world that we have been thrown into. I've nver felt so lost and so hurt before in my life. Although there are so mny people around me, so many new people that I have met, but I feel like I now know less people than before. It feels like I'm all alone in this world surrounded by artificial entities.

We are all just trying to survive, trying to break free and escape this cruel world back into the world we once knew. Whenever I see the people whom I once regarded as friends, I feel like I'm just looking at some long lost neighbours whom I haven't met in a long time. I really don't know how I can take this anymore. Coupled with all the stress I'm facing from studies, all the stress from 'A' levels. Yet all this stress is nothing compared to that I'm facing from the other superficial empty shells that are also trying to survive this cruel world with me.

I'm stretching out my hands as far as I can, trying to reach for the end, trying to pull myself past these last few months. The end is so near yet so far and I have this intense fear that when I finally reach the end, I will not like what I find. I'm afraid that I'll never be able to go back to where I once was. It's funny how life can screw you up so bad without warning. We just separated and grew apart, so far apart that we can't even see each other clearly anymore. All this came so gradually, yet so quickly that we have no time to respond at all.

I really really hate everybody now, including myself. I hate us for trying so hard to survive that we have forgotten to live. Yet, we must still scramble for the end in the end. What can we really do anyway? Ultimately, we all have our own lives to lead. We will all go our own separate ways in the end, so why do I still bother to be so emotional? Why? Why? I want my old life back and yet I also want to survive. I also want the people around me to survive. Why can't we have everything we wish for?

2009-10-09T18:32:00.002+08:00

I find this very true of myself, particularly from 'Your view of education' onwards. If you want to find out more about me, just read.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Another lousy term

2009-03-03T17:44:00.005+08:00

Yet another lousy term is about to end. I have done badly once again. I know I have not studied much but I don't know why I am just unable to, despite the importance of the year. I do not know what drives other people to actually pick up their books to study and be so consistently meticulous in doing all their work, being so attentive in class. Or maybe they actually aren't. They're just much smarter than me. I mean really, who isn't?

Anyway, some results which I've gotten back so far:

English- 66
Chinese - 65
Full Lit. - 72
C. Humanities - 74
A.Maths - 79
E.Maths - 63
Biology - 80
Chemistry - 76
Physics - 70

2009

2009-01-29T22:46:00.005+08:00

It feels like a another year has passed although its only january. Things have already resumed to full speed in the first week and Im exhausted. I would have probably collapsed and crumbled if not for the CNY break which I really do appreciate although its also due to it that Im now desperately trying to tilt my head backwards and type at the same time, with my fist full of bloody tissues. An extremely hoarse throat and nasal voice was also a consequence. Worse still, I had tripped and fallen over while trying to clear the last hurdle during P.E today. Put aside the utter embarrassment I had to endure (which wasnt much actually, since hardly anybody noticed), I am now limping. My ankle had twisted so badly that, even my father's massage combined with chinese medicated oil cannot salvage.

Worse still, tomorrow I have to make a trip to IKEA with other 'sjabers' to hunt down cheap and practical cabinets for our SJAB school HQ. I dont think a twisted ankle is going to help me much. God can the day get any better...About CNY, I watched two movies on consecutive days. 'Inkheart' and 'The Wedding Game'. Inkheart is just another Jumanji and Bedtime stories combined, while The Wedding Game became a chore to watch after a while. TWG was inundated with sexual connotations, so much so that it shouldnt have been PG in the first place. Fann Wong and Christopher Lee were in their underwear half the time, and there was too much physical contact, put aside the fact that Christoper Lee's nether region was being mutilated by FW about thrice. There were many lame and cliche jokes. I think our local jokes have finally been exhausted. Anyway, I thought it was also effective in blasting the papparazzi and critiszing the 'most of the time' irresponsible and insensitive media which is just what Im about to do in my next post. Ungracious little swine, they really are. Always sourcing out juicy escapades and sordid affairs to ramble on about.

2009 - We Start All Over Again

2009-01-01T12:30:00.002+08:00

Ok, I have said my last words of 2008 in my previous post which was just posted yesterday. Scroll down to read. If you have read it, you would know why my new year motto is 'We Start All Over Again'. I have only one new year resolution this year.

TO BE HAPPY!!! :D

2008 - The Worst Year Of My Life

2008-12-31T13:12:00.006+08:00

Ok, its the last day of 2008! What a tumultous year it has been. I know I have just wasted one whole precious year away, throwing tantrunms, falling into depression, failing exams, getting four F9s at one go, skipping school, running away from home, getting myself heart break after heart break, stress after stress. I wonder how I managed to survive through it all. I can officially declare 2008 as the worst year of my life. I have never cried so much in the last decade. I have never failed my exams before in my entire academic life. I have never been met with so many obstacles before. For those who havent heard the full story, I was even almost sent to a shrink not too long ago. What with the upcoming year being one of the most important years of my life. I just gave it a horrible preface. I know no amount of regret can salvage all the desparities and redeem myself. 2008 has left a permanent scar in my life that can never be removed. If I were ever to get heart problems or cancer in the future, 2008 would have been the main cause.

Looking on the positive side, I know I have made lifelong friends this year too. I know its not exactly an easy thing to do. I've had so many friends in my previous academic years, but the friendships did not last, probably because we just had to go our seperate ways, maybe its because of external obstacles that broke us apart, maybe we just did not make enough effort to sustain the friendship. Whatever it is, I really wish that it would never happen again. We must accumulate new friendship on our life journey but we should never lose old ones. Despite all the difficulties I have been through, I know that there are many people out there that have supported me to some extend. I am especially grateful to my parents, my teachers and my friends. Nothing I ever do can repay the guidance and support.

2008 has been an extremely emotional year, the most challenging yet, but I hope that despite all this, I would have gained something from it all. :)

Kelong at Bintan

2008-12-09T17:45:00.004+08:00

An update on the last 2 weeks. I've just completed the 4 day course over the last 2 weekends. The exam day is tomorrow. Have many things to study for. Sigh...Plus a 3 day camp and a Passing Out Parade to 'look forward to'.I shall spare you the b*tching and move on to the happier things. Well, we went for another short trip to a kelong resort at Bintan. The place was as run down as you would imagine, but the place itself was gorgeous. It was so scenic and windy. So windy that my hair was always in a mess. Of course I couldnt forget the 2 hour long boat journey there which almost had me vomitted and passed out if not for 'anti-giddy' pills my aunt had brought along.

Other the the trips to and fro, it was really fun. I fished for the first time. I always had a little phobia of the hook, afraid that it would pierce me or something but its something that you'll have to get used to. After a while, I wasnt that apprehensive of it. Of course you have to be prepared to remove the hook from the roof of the mouth a living fish jumping about the floor seeing blood splatter around as well as decapitate and mutilate sotongs to use as bait, hooking their body parts on the hook. Despite all this, the satisfaction of having caught a fish was enough to compensate all. I caught many small fishes while my 9 Y/O cousin who was more experienced caught several mid-sized fishes. As it was the first time, we kept trying and as a result we got quite a sizeable haul compared to the even more experienced local fishermen who just sat, chatted and waited the whole day for a huge fish to come along. My grandfather was something else. He kept fishing even through the night while we slept.

At about 5am, his efforts paid off and he finally caught a fish about 3kg. Honestly, a 3kg fish to be caught from a fishing rod is no small feat. It took my grandfather and some of the big local fishermen ,who were kind enough to help him, to reel the fish in. They even had to use a net which was actually prohibited as only fishing rods are allowed but since the fish was technically caught by a rod, they couldnt do anything. Im suprised the string hasnt broke. Sadly I wasnt there to witness it myself and had to rely on my mother's recount. She ran out of the 'hut' immediately when my grandfather shouted loud enough to wake the whole kelong. I was too sleepy to move. Ok some pictures. I was too engrossed in fishing I didnt take many pictures. I cant believe I didnt take any picture of the fishes we caught. Arghh. It was quite a big variety. We even caught a stingray and a non edible catfish which we threw back into the sea.

GOOD thing Rihanna's BAD /Melala

2008-11-17T12:24:00.007+08:00

My throat is cracking and all the sounds around me seem to be muffled. I had never screamed so much in ages, neither have so much people (including our bad girl) screamed back at me so loudly before. GOD, Rihanna was beyond awesome. The 1.8m tall lady made a dramatic entrance by descending from the ceiling on a disc only about half a metre in diameter screaming 'bum bum be dum bum bum be dum bum...'...only to find out that her microphone was malfunctioning a few seconds later. Like what the hell...of all the microphone on stage (including those supporting/backup singers), it had to be hers that had technical difficulties. As a result most of 'Disturbia' was left unsung. Considering that 'disturbia' is one of her latest and most favourited hit, and that it was the entrance song, it was terribly dissapointing.

Anyway, I guess the following songs compensated for this, as I screamed myself hoarse, along with a stadium full of people, the world's favourite hits. Another thing that compensated the problem was also her punctuality. Remembering that I was squashed in the middle of an extremely uncouth and excessively noisy crowd, with kissing couples all around and had to wait more than hour for Linkin Park to make their appearance, Rihanna seemed a whole lot more courteous.

However some tiffs over seats during the short wait was enough to put anyone off. A caucasian lady standing in my leg room was towering over all the sitted audience and having an arguement with a group of girls sitting beside me, trying to claim her seat, supposedly entitled to her from the ticket she purchased. According to the usher, it was free seating and the only restriction was the section of the Stadium we are allowed to sit in. Apparently the lady had not attended a concert in her life as ahe didnt expect free seating. Anyway, everyone in the section was staring at her and the girls. Everybody around also started waging a silent and indirect verbal war, some for and some against free seating. In the end, the girls were removed and sent to better seats in the front while the caucasian lady claimed her seat. It was terrible as an usher had to be called in to manage the situation. I felt that the lady hadnt be so provocative and aggresive whem claiming her seat while sistic should inform the audience of free seating before hand. According to Mikhail's arguement which was for free seating - since everyone in a particular section had paid the same ticket price, free seating should be allowed and served by a first come, first serve basis. Inevitably, being early always pays.

Some pictures:

Next is our trip to melaka. I'm too lazy to elaborate, but anyway, Im so happy I managed to buy many clothes there. The pictures shall do the talking.

2008-10-11T15:59:00.003+08:00

Ok, I've officially ran out of melodramatic introductions to my posts. But I just cant resist screaming this: 'EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER, WHOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!' Its almost org*smic, try it. Ok in order to fuel my inspiration to complete this post, I've put on Crush by David Archuleta in the background and many other songs. I'm still in love with the man who can't be moved which is edging up the charts with 10th this week. Ok while we're on the topic of songs lets continue, I recently attempted to attain all the old pop songs. I never realised Avril seems to be dominating this with her all-time-favourite hits like keep holding on, complicated, sk8ter boy and im with you. I even extracted There you'll be by faithhill, collide by howie day, the best I ever had by vertical horizon, the reason by hoobastank, because of you by kelly clarkson, chasing cars by snow patrol, etc...You should try listening to them when you have the time. Its nostalgic.

To tell you the truth, the introduction that you just read was written 2 weeks ago but I saved it as a draft as I had to go somewhere. Anyway, it has been a really robust and fun-filled post-exams week until today, that is, when I had to go back to school for supplementary lessons until mid-november which is unimaginably horrific. Ok an extremely quick and brief update. The friday after the last paper ended, I and Ashraff got ourselves lost in God knows where in our search for a hawker centre to have lunch. We ended up walking around some landed property estate where there are countless terraces and bungalos, frequently hearing dogs barking and immediately saying: 'Your wife called you' and what not. It was a streneous and foolish experience. After that, we went to Orchard after Mikhail called to inform us that his sister has fallen ill and could not go out with her. The next thing that happened was me and Ashraff waiting for Mikhail at Orchard MRT station,and ended up bumping into Ashraff's sister and her friends who were looking frantically for Takashimaya and us guiding them there. After scaling Orchard and eating MACs at the steps of a shopping centre, Ashraff left with his sister, while I and Mikhail went to Toy'R'us(however its spelled) to 'relive' our childhood memories, thereby meeting many deprived teenagers fooling around in there too.

Saturday, I went with Jeremy and Jia Wei to KBOX at Jurong East entertainment centre and screamed ourselves hoarse with Leona Lewis barely audible in the background and countless Chinese songs. After that I intended to go to Changi Airport to meet my Grandmother who just came back from Beijing but ended up back on Orchard Road, specifically at Orchard Cineleisure to watch a 987 National rockband championships qualifying round that was so dissapointing we stayed for barely 10 minutes before leaving in a huff to search for a new bag for me. Evidently we werent too successful. Monday, me, Linus and Mik went to Botanical Gardens for God knows why. It was all of Linus's idea, which reminds me to remind him not to get tea poisoning after being inundated with too much of it. Quite expected from a person who fantasizes about plants and God knows what.

Wednesday, Ash and Mik came to my house and it was pretty screwed up as we spent so much effort in trying to find a way to go to my housae after missing a shuttle bus, thanks to a stupid pizza that we had to wait 15 minutes for. The next scene would probably be a breathless group sitting in front of the computer trying to prevent Lara Croft from getting bitten dead by dogs in an eerie alley and exhausting my playlist, which I updated recently. Sunday, I and Christopher went to Ashraff house only to return drenched to the skin and extremely irritable. I dont want to say too much but the highlight would be the three of us standing at the top of a 7 storey pagoda screaming Thunder by BLG under the defeaning roar of the constant thunder and at the mercy of the horrendous downpour. Just picture us with rotting newspapers on the top of our heads and running back to the house several kilometers away, soaked to the skin as if we just bathed with our clothes on, after which not being allowed into the house and rushing to my cousin's house for dinner. Need I say more?

By the way, my LG Secret which I threw about five times on the concrete floor and dropped 'accidentally' God knows how many times finally gave way and crumbled. It is now being sent to the repair shop to be salvaged. As such there is absolutely no way you can contact me through my HP, no to mention that it is now impossible for me to listen to the portable radio and blast my favourite songs wherever I go. I'm so sorry LG secret!!! Please forgive me for mistreating and abusing you. Come back safe and I will take good care of you!!! I hope for a speedy recovery!!! There's no need to roll your eyes folks....

2008-09-18T20:21:00.003+08:00

I really wished I knew,
Why they hated me so badly.
And that includes those few,
Whom I've talked to lately.

I know I'm stupid and useless,
Unintelligent and worthless.
They need'nt treated me this way,
All the things they say,

The pain and hurt I feel inside,
My hearts where they hide.
They thought I could'nt care less,
They left me in distress.

I really wished I could cry.
Really! I did try.
But the hurt is so deep
I just could'nt weep.

2008-09-12T23:34:00.004+08:00

I know I havent been blogging for a long time, mainly because I'm very lazy. OK, but tonight, I suddenly feel inspired to write a lot, so prepare to spend a long time reading this. Since I've not blogged for such a long time, so many thoughts and timelogs have been accumulated and I've probably forgoten a good proportion of them. Lets start form my TA3 results. I dont have much to say about it. And Im not even going to bother describing them. My feeling are very obvious.
English - B4
Chinese - B3
A.maths - F9
E.maths - C6
Chemistry - F9 (zero because I didnt take the paper)
Physics - A2 (surprisingly)
Biology - F9
Literature - F9 (zero because I didnt take the paper)
Combined humans. - A2

which brings me to an overall percentage of 46%

The first time I got F9s and this time its four at one go. I should really congratulate myself right? Don't interrogate me for those who just saw this. It might kill me. Anyway, lets move on. After TA3 was OBS but I totally forgotten the details. The last week of school have been quite interesting especially the last day of school as it was teacher's day. I gave gifts to Mrs Tan, Ms Mara, chinese teacher, Ms Ong, Mr Lim and Mdm Ng. I gave those teachers whom have helped and supported me during the past few difficult months. This doesnt mean that the other teachers have not helped me, but i didnt have the means to obtain so many gifts. But I will make sure that I would give every teacher whom has taught me in the 4 years next year, or I may never have the chance to do so again. And that includes Ameena Syed and Melvin Ho.

The day before was thursday when we had PTM. I didnt attend the PTM with my mother because I wanted to go MACs with Ashraff, or rather he wanted me to go macs with him as it was officially the last day of the term. We made a fool of ourselves at macs as usual. I felt that the branch at KAP has too many helpers at the counters. There were so many of them standing around and idling away. There werent queues at that time so we were the only ones prepariong to order the food. We were standing about a few metres away from the counters, scrutinizing the menu at the top for the most worthy meal and many of the cashiers were staring at us like we were wasting their time. It was so pressurizing that I couldnt even decide what I wanted to eat. Many of them looked like new trainees and had little experience as their service wasnt good. Since we 'wasted' a lot of their time, they expressed their unhappiness when we ordered the food by hastily taking our orders and money. The one serving me practically snatched the money from my hands when I paid and they forcefully shoved the trays onto the tables. I was very dissapointed. They should have more of them cleaning up the place instead of idling around. There were tables that still had trays and wrappers left behind by the previous customers not removed and cleaned. All I saw was a poor old lady carrying her towel and rushing about trying to clean up the place.

The holidays werent too fruitful either. On Saturday, Christopher, Ashraff and me went for a Flag Day organised by Lions Home for the elderly. This was Ashraff's idea as he is afraid that he does not have enough CIP hours. We met at City Hall MRT, and were frantically trying to search for the location of some place(I forgot the name) to collect our tins. Christopher thought he knew the way but led us astray as he misinterpreted the map. We had to detour back, where I poured over the map and decided the route which was correct. It was the 4th time I went for Flag Day. The first three were part of SJAB, but it was Ashraff's and Christopher's first time. In the end, Ashraff collected the most as he was very enthusiastic, I was close to his and Chris's was the least.

We practically toured marina bay and Orchard road, before ending up at the Singapore Flyer, sweating profusely. There was a carnival there and that I really have to thank the Singapore Flyer for 'generating' 80% of our total collection. The people there were rather generous and most of them donated although some rejected. Oh ya, before I forget, Ashraff mentioned that there was a lady trying to 'escape from our clutches' She saw ashraff first and immediately walked towards the right where she met Christopher, after that she immediately walked back to the left, and got a shock out of her life when Ashraff appeared out of nowhere in front of her and she rejected. She really gave herself a hard time when she could have simply part with a few cents to help the needy. Ans guess who Christopher spotted at the Singapore Flyer? Of all people, animals and even insects, Ameena Syed had to be present. Yes I know my reaction then was extremely dramatic. Spare me from describing it. She was there to attend a teacher;s conference. God thank, I never saw her and she never saw me.

Guess what happened after that? Mdm Ng called and demanded an explanation for not turning up at AGI. I already informed her by sms the day before, but she was furious at me for not mentioning it to her earlier. She made me call Mr Lim and explain about the flag day to him which I did and all he said to apologise to mdm ng. I'm still a little shaken by the incident and still quite confused. Anyway, that weekend I went to the PC show as well and got myself a 19 inch monitor, a wireless keyboard which Im typing on and a wireless mouse, which can be used a few metres away. I can sit a t one end of the room with my mouse and control my computer which is at the other end of the room. Isnt that cool?

Now lets fast forward to tuesday when I went to make my i/c with Mikhail accompanying me. We met at lavender MRT. I was a little flustered as I was very unfamiliar with what to do. I took passport sized pictures there at exorbitant rates of about $10 for 4 small photos in which I looked horrible. That picture really undermines my looks to an undescribable extend. (No sarcastic remarks please, Mik, MO and Ash). Oh ya, my I/c was 2 to 3 weeks due which was nothying compared to Mik's 2 month due. Anyway, I got a queue number and waited for my turn. When it was my turn, I frantically produced my documents which were ina total mess inside my hideous, 5 y/o sling bag. The woman was manipulating my fingers the whole time holding my hand, pressing my thumb to the ink and stamping on some documents. It was hilarious. She was holding my hand like some kid the age of my sling bag and bringing it here and there.

After that, I went to Mikhail house intending to study but ended up playing Xbox like some maniac until MO reached the house. We met him at the MRT station and went to the Civil Service Club near Mik's house to bowl. We bowled three games, where I dominated 2 and MO 1, it wasnt Mik's day and he made many mistakes. Halfway, a Cheung Cheng High girl appeared next to our lane, and started to use my lucky ball. There was only one sized 9 ball and she had to keep on using it. Isnt that pathetic? Anway MO was making a big fuss out of it and I had and have no comments. Fun day, it really was. After that we went back to Mik's house where we resumed playing xbox.

I shall stop here as it is very late already. I intended to burn midnight oil to revise biology, and ended up doing this. Look at the time. I shall saturate your brain with more timelogs another time. Mik, you cannot complain that I never blog already. HAH!

2008-08-28T16:03:00.002+08:00

Ok, its been a long time, since my 'emo' poem. People have been pressuring me to blog, which I did literally by changing blogskin. Hope you people like it. Now time to post something. Well what has been happening(besides TA3). We had OBS last week. It was terrific! I thought it was just like any other camp which I've been to and this is my 7th one, but the five day experience really showed me that it was something else altogether. Before OBS really started, I've already heard a lot about it from my cousins and friends and all seemed to enjoy it as well, regardless of gender. The first day did'nt prove so, and it got worse in the following days. But at the end of it, I can say that it was five days well spent.

Day 1:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Day 2:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Day 3:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ok, I'm just to lazy to talk about it now. There's really to much to say. Another time. I fell like showing this face to myself - -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- >.< >.<

2008-08-12T12:40:00.004+08:00

If only I knew what has become of me,

The agony and anguish hidden beneath.

The sorrow and heartache there seemed to be,

All firmly suppressed underneath.

If only time could tell,

that I really wasn’t well.

The hardship all these years,

All left me drowned in tears.

If only I could have been bolder.

Then there wouldn’t be so much pain.

If only I could have been slower,

The hardship wouldn’t have been in vain.

If only they could understand,

And hopefully extend a hand.

There is no need for advices,

Just a need to understand.

Heartless society, release me I say!

I beg for mercy night and day.

Release me! I say again.

AT ONCE! Don’t make us pay!

Copyrighted © Zhi Hao

2008-08-10T17:35:00.000+08:00

I officially declare myself to be on a hiatus from academic life.

2008-08-02T13:02:00.002+08:00

Guess what day it is today? Yes, its my birthday!!! I'm finally one and a half decade old, aww, I wish I could remain young forever, but of course put aside me wanting to grow up quickly to escape my current boring and endearing life. I just want to grow out from school life quickly for the obvious reasons. Ok whats been happening lately, Kindred Spirits last Friday was not as I had expected. There were too many bands!!! Teenage angst was practically taking to the stage. Forming a rock band has become such an easy thing to do I guess....some were okay...but the others merely contributed to noise pollution. The last band was made up of current and ex-SJI teachers. I thought it would be the most professional band or something but it turned out to be on the contrary. I guess it was Daniel Chua's lifelong dream to become a singer or form a band since he was young. I distinctively remember him telling us that he was from RJC when he was our P.E teacher last year. An ex-RJ boy becoming a P.E teacher is quite hard to comprehen you know. I guess (only guess) he must have flunged his studies after that, due to his ambition of becoming a singer, which he failed terribly. If Simon cowell was present he would say, "There's so many words I can direct from my vocabulary to describe how awful that was, you will never, ever have a career in singing. " But now he finally got his chance of performing on a stage. Congrats! However, Daisy Chia, Rahima and Adeline Tan performed some old-time favourite ' Dancing Queen' They were fantastic. GO El-Divas!!!

Next, yesterday's training, It was the most tiring training as an NCO I ever had. I had to collect the walkathon cards. With nearly a hundred cards to account for, a few thousand dollars to take responsibility for, it sure isnt easy feat. Of the many cards I have to worry about, I only received 8 cards yesterday. Very disappointing. But the good thing is that most of them surpassed the minimum amount, great effort! I hope at least a part of the donation were not solely from their parents though.... I was so flustered and kept shouting at people when they came to disturb. Notes and coins flying everywhere, amounts and signatures to account for, I really dont know how I'm going to handle so many more cards to come. My assistant - Dicky was of little help. Some even gave shillings despite constant reminder not to. 75 cents, 25 cents are so hard to tabulate. One person even had a total of $61.75! and other weird amounts.

Lastly, Singfest! I really really wish I could go for it!!!! Arghhhhhh. I guess I dont want to talk about it any more. My common tests are coming up the week after national day. I'm so stressed. i have hardly started studying and I still dont understand or remember a lot of things. Put aside how much the rest are studying like Ashraff whom is so enthusiastic, he even skipped school yesterday so he could stay home to study. You know we usually take the same bus home so we would wait for each other, but on Thursday he was rushing home to study, he just left like that without telling me even though I had nothing on. The other time, he promised to wait for me as I had chinese oral but in the end, came up with some excuse to quickly go home and study. All he does is study and when hes not, he will call me to disturb me (or prove that he isnt studying). I dont know why he keeps on trying to give other people the impression that he doesnt study when he himself knows he does. And worse still, he would say that I studied more or something even after getting better results than me. Very simple logic, lets just conclude, Ashraff is smarter than me. The end.

2008-07-20T10:59:00.002+08:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, particularly about school and academic life. It has definitely a very stressful, tiring and endless road...not to mention bumpy and unsettled. I have probably lost a few days of my life and having the possibilty of having heart or mentally related illness, or even cancer, not to mention the many days I've wasted procratinating due to it. My definition of procrastination is not doing anything productive in a period of time. I not only could not bring myself to study or even just doing my homework, but I didnt enjoy myself either, like playing computer or watching TV, probably because I would feel too guilty that I was doing something else instead of what I was supposed to do.

The many occassions that I have been brought to the lowest and most difficult time of my life was due to overstress when I could not bring myself not only to study, do my homework but even play and enjoy. The extra stress from other factors such as friends, competition, reputation, etc. did not help at all. I have not been able to muster enough courage to face it, and always pretended nothing happened, especially when I took my stress out on my family which I deeply regret. People always think I'm the happy-go-lucky, no worries type of person, or the type whom studies a lot without fret. I seriously wished I could be what they thought of me, but sadly that is not the case. Ashraff probably already knew I was under some kind of pressure considering the many times I've skipped school within the last few years in SJI. The school has been very kind and not giving too much homework either, as compared to other schools. But its not the amount of work that really mattered. Actually I'm unclear of what is the cause.

I have been observing people recently, specifically from character to character and even more so, from status to status in society. It has been quite interesting analysing how people from different backgrounds differ (not that I wish to go into pyscology). From the rich to poor, how their children behave and survive in society. Some are brighter, sharper, some probably slower. Some smart but lazy, others slower but motivated. I do not know why but I like to convince myself that I'm just smart but lazy, but I didnt even give a thought I could be actually stupid. I cannot say that I'm totally lazy, but my stress and procrastination is sufficient to replace it. Simply or technically I just havent been studying much the past 2 years the past two years although I must admit I have always intended to many times, but failed anyway. Of course what got me through eventually was not because I was clever, but because of my last minute stuggles, which was detrimental to not only my understanding of the subjects, but also to my health. I became a much more unhappy person, not in front of my my friends or in school but inside me.

Although I try my best to avoid it, whenever I hear Ashraff talking about intelligence about everone, I cant help but join in. We enjoy trying to convince ourselves that we are smart, and just lazy, or probably it was just my foolish idealogy. Anyway, this is my current academic ails. I've been discussing with my parents about life not only now but also in the future. Academic and career life. We cant hide the fact that everybody wants to have a high status in society, a good reputation, be rich, and powerful, something that humans cannot escape since medieval times. It is just the extent from individual to individual that really differs. I mean after all, what are students studying so hard for? Isnt it to be successful in the future, carreer-wise? I must add that we do not need to do extremely well in order to have the basic necessities in life. However, doing well not only ensures that we have them but more. More is definitely necessary in our first world society, theoretically.

Just some personal thoughts to express and ponder about.

PS. Dont worry, Im not 'pms'ing or going into an emotional breakdown. So please dont harbour any weird ideas. Beneficial and useful comments are much appreciated. :)

2008-07-13T16:21:00.002+08:00

Its been quite a while. School started erm...abt 3 weeks ago. We are almost halfway into term 3 already. Im still as stressed as ever, as crazy as ever and as depressed as ever. Nothing much has changed. AP rehearsal passed like a week ago. Passing out parade last friday and we're officially taking over next week. I just quit Maths Olympiad last week with Ashraff. I know what u're thinking but no. We did not plan to quit together, although we did literally. I quited because I thought it was quite a waste of time since Im not getting anything from, out and in it. Anyway, we went to the staff room to look for the teacher in charge, who has a very bad attitude. Not very surprising really, since almost all maths teachers are like that.

My current one is quite a nice and sweet lady though, although I think thats because she has children herself. My previous one last year has a horrible temper though. Shes nice when shes nice but terrible when shes mad. She was the first teacher whom ever sent me out of class in my whole academic life...because I didnt had my maths file out before she stepped into the classroom... The most horrible one was the one whom relieved my class this year. Guess what she relieved us for...english. You know how horrible most maths teachers engish standard are right? One pRus one, two mutipRy by two, dont 'pRay''pRay', what is the distan? And the all time favourite, 'wake up your idea'. Before digressing further, guess what happened when she first stepped into the classroom? Two thirds of the class were chased outside....because they were standing up and walking around the classroom when the teacher was not around. Honestly thats what I usually do, but fortunately for me, lady luck seemed to be smiling on me taht day and I was sitting down....Anyway about the maths olympiad teacher in charge, Ashraff wasnt that nice to her anyway. He kind of retorted rather rudely to her questions. Worse still, she seemed a little shocked when Ashraff talked to her in such a rude tone that she turned her attention and directed her rudeness to me instead. Being the 'nice' person I was, I still answered politely and she climbed over my head.

Anyway, I usually do not like to criticize people and all being the 'nice' person I was, am, and will no longer be. I actually have lots of discontent with the people around me but I hardly speak up. Recently I just realised that people can really be very rude sometimes and increasingly at that. I have come across many stupid old men in their 40s - 50s, whom think they are so self-righteous, civic minded and smart. They are so immature that I wonder when they will ever grow up. One particular incident made sure I will never be so nice to impolite people ever again. A few weeks ago, I stayed back in school for some matter. Anyway after that when I went home I was waiting for my bus at the bus stop. There was no one else there. After some time a man probably in his 40s - 50s alighted. Upon seeing me he approached me, stood in front of me (I was sitting at the bench) and directed his questions at me.

'You're a Josephian right?'
"Yes"
' Do you know whether the wake of Brother Cailey is here at your chapel?'
"Here? I thought it was at Catholic JC"
'I already went there to look and called up...they said it was here at SJI'
"Is it? I didnt know that."
'What?! You're a josephian and you dont even know where his wake is'
*shakes head*
' How can the school not tell the students?!' (in a most rude manner, implying that the school was irresponsible or something)
*silence*
'You're not a catholic are you??'
'No'
*Walks off in the most arrogant manner* (without a word of thanks)

How would I know where Brother Cailey's wake is?? If I hadnt read the Straits Times, I wouldnt have even thought it was 'supposedly' at Catholic JC. The school told us about his death, gave us a speech about what a great man he is....etc. But why would they tell us where the wake is? I even taught he passed away in Ireland...and his body sent back to Singapore...etc. I have met many similar encounters of such arrogant and irresponsible people, not considering what kind of influence they are having on youths these days. Whatever they said may not have been wrong technically but the tone, gesture and impoliteness is unacceptable.

PS. I know the grammer, spelling, vocabulary may not be accurate at some parts.(Too lazy to correct)

2008-06-16T13:26:00.009+08:00

I thought my previous post would be my longest ever. Looks like this time I'm set to break my record again. But I think I would not exceed this anymore. Well, I just came back from Beijing last tuesday. Its almost a week already, I know, but I was too lazy to blog about it. I also dont know why the sudden inspiration. It has been a very eventful trip. Honestly, this is one of my favourite and most enjoyable trip ever and its without my family. It was like my first trip so far as Beijing without my family and the most suprising thing was I enjoyed myself so much I didnt even miss home. I was supposed to called my family everynight but I even forgot to, on certain nights. By the way, the timing in BeiJing is the same as Singapore so it was rather convenient for us. There was about 30-odd of us and not many I have actually talked to before.

I was rather frustrated when the school didnt allow us to choose our roommates. Well it was two to a room and yes, we stayed at a hotel! I still feel that they should at least let us choose our roommates but the school has an absurd mentality and they wanted us to mix with other people and not always stick to our clicks. We were also split in several groupings of about 5-6 members. This time, they didnt even bother entertaining our unhappiness about random selection. However, this one I must admit that it was rather reasonable. We carried out our activities in groups and had to stick with each other when we went to visit the.....shall I list yet? Nah...let me continue first.

I was so surprised about how much Beijing has developed. It was too much to handle. There wasnt a single beggar except for a few old ladies whom at least had things to sell. F.Y.I, I only came across 3 of them on the entire trip. The buildings there were no more shabbier than of those in Singapore. All of them 'looked' modern. The first infrastructure that stuck me upon arrival was obviously the airport which has a size ,that even our 3 terminals put together, cannot compete. I was looking out for signs which has 'aliens' on it instead of 'foreigners' on it but to no avail. Their english has improved (not a lot). Well except for 'minor' mistake(s) on the back of their departure cards. :p The city which has a population of 20 million is just as clean as Singapore, that is if we kept looking down and not up. Their air quality is still horrible but it was clean enough for me to breathe properly. Just wondering why atheletes keep complaining. For God's sake, atheletes suffering from asthma would ALWAYS have a hard time, regardless of the air quality, so quit whining!!! Their service everywhere was impeccable. It only takes 10 minutes for quality hotel room service.

But above all, I still stand for the statement: 'A picture speaks a thousand words'. Therfore.....

Some photos courtesy of Ms Melissa Yam whom was our dedicated photograher (Mostly the group phtos). More photos uploaded...another one third to go!

2008-05-26T11:31:00.006+08:00

To start this post, firstly, i would like to thank those whom have been supportive of my blog. I should'nt have kept on lamenting on the little viewership but keep improving my blog. Anyway, special thanks to Ashraff but please don't flood my tagboard with things supposedly said by other people. Secondly, YAY!!!! DAVID COOK IS OUR AMERCAN IDOL 7!!!! I knew he would win when it was down to the battle of the Davids, Archuleta isnt that bad but I guess his talents is quite limited, as in the type or genre of songs he can sing is quite limited. He is a crooner. Anway he is young so he can always have a second chance and being the first runner up is no easy feat either. It is already a huge achievement. The song currently on my blog is by David Cook - Always be my baby. I love his singing!!! Three cheers and three cheers for David Cook!!!

Thirdly, the thing I have been dreading all along - my MYE results. Well, they are absolutely terrible. I no longer care whether its because I didn;t study or not. The fact is that they are terrible. I hope to remove my horrible procrastination habits, and keep telling myself that I'm smart and don't need to study because everyone needs to ultimately to become successful. Another thing I would like to take the opportunity to bring out - comparison. This is a huge obstacle and setback in my academic pursuits, and I'm certain it is for many other students. Comparison can be looked at in two perspectives, positively or else known as healthy or negatively. It is indeed healthy comparison for many others but It does not apply similarly for me. Firstly, my great apprehension of comparison is because healthy comparison always lead or evolve to unhealthy ones. What is the definition of healthy comparison? My definition - To use others as benchmark -> motivation to do better -> do better. But what has it become - To use others as benchmark -> jealousy or anger may arise -> instead of having motivation do do better -> WISH OTHER PEOPLE DO BADLY -> actions to make others do badly -> Pyscological attack (words) -> stress -> bad for you and me.

Lol, i seem to have digressed. Here are my MYE results :

English - 72 (A2)
Chinese - 59 (C5)
Chemistry - 46 (D7) <- failed
Physics - 55 (C5)
Biology - 58 (C5)
E. maths - 93 (A1)
A. maths - 63 (B4)
Full lit. - 72 (A2)
Combined humans. - 76 (A1)

As you have seen, I finally failed a subject for a major exam in my whole life. Fourthly, what have been happening for the past two weeks. Lets start with last saturday. My family, including my grandparents took the Singapore Flyer. Well, its not that fantastic after all, But we had great paranomic views of Singapore and it was really really high up. I felt like vomiting after looking directly downwards. The rest of the weekend was rather eventful. I guess the pictures would sum it all.

At suntec City after Singapore Flyer, for dinner.

Next day, went sentosa in the morning and after that went for lunch with my cousin , wayne and went to some bridge near sentosa.

No more pictures, but we went to my other cousin's club (Raffles Country Club) to play badminton and swim. Then went NUSS (club) for dinner.

Lol...terribly eventful weekend. But thats only last weekend. The weekend that have just passed was jus as bad (as in good)? Ok, nvm. Shall update on that some other time.

2008-05-10T13:55:00.002+08:00

Hey, I havent blogged in ages...the reason is simple...there is so little viewership. Well, Mid-year exams ended 3 days ago. To summarise it all:

English - okay, manageable
Chinese - harder than usual
A.maths - average, harder than e.maths (definitely)
E.maths - Chicken feet (I'll b surprised if i dun get full marks)
Full. lit - average
E. geog - average
Social studies - average
Physics - erm....a pass would b fine
Chemistry - The first official exam I've failed in my entire life
Biology - B4 would be fine

Generally, the sciences totally suck.
Anyway...I think i will update some other time. too lazy. anyway no one will read it...*sigh*

2008-03-21T14:45:00.003+08:00

I seem to have lost the ability to create a proper introduction (beginning) to my posts since once upon a time. Arghhhhh...Since the year started, I have not been able to write a decent essay or even a short passage. I have lost my writing ability and stlye which might be non-existence in the first place. Probably because I have reduced tremendously my reading. I have not even completed reading a single book this year, not even my literature novels. I seem to become less and less interested in reading...arghhhhh. I have even gotten a 17/50 score for one of my comprehension exercise last term, something which I have never 'achieved' before. Before that, my lowest have been, well, at least a pass. I do not remember ever doing badly for my english tests before. Somehow or another, I still managed to pass my overall english results last term but my score put me in band 5, which is the bottom 20% of the whole level. Can you imagine that, I have never ever gotten a band 5 score in my life, and worse still, it is for one of the subjects which im considerably good at. Well, at least it is not my weakest subject. Actually, the most troubling problem is that it is the most important subject of all, if I fail, I can forget about being promoted to sec 4 and I am so close to it with a 53...barely made it...

The only consolation is that despite my lowest in class, bottom of the level english marks, I still got 71% overall. HA! noobs... and my L1B5 is 13 of which 6 is already taken up by my english...lol...which means if if i got an A1 for my english, it would be 8. Ok i know that that is a futile consolation, like 8 is very good like that...arghhhhh...

Well, term 2s started and it is already soooooo stressful. I'm packed with so much homework this weekend, i can hardly rest at all....I also do not know why I'm always so sleepy in school, a phenomenon to me, I have never felt like that in school before...my eyelids are so heavy, I can barely keep them open....until my geog teacher even knocked on my table a few times... and I was so shocked...I lost my sleepiness....

Meanwhile Im just trying to keep up with the rest whom I cannot see how could have improved so much effortlessly. Even those who have not been doing well are surpassing me so much...arghhhhh....I so doomed to oblivion....*pants*

2008-02-28T17:11:00.002+08:00

Policemen and military men lining the roads , with their military vehicles and police car parked nearby. Our parent's cars not allowed to enter. I was clueless and shocked, and my head of level was giving directions together with other teachers and even the principal had left the school to give directions and manage the situation outside, and my mother wound down the window to ask when the car would be allowed in. The HOL said,'until the JI member is caught'.....

Ok now we know whats happening, apparently if you have read the newspaper this morning, you would too. Remember to look out for the location of the detention center where the mastermind was held, that is....until about 4.15pm yesterday. And you would know how my school or I was or is involved....until 'he' is apprehended. Apparently, they suspect that the escapee may hide in the school, or rather do something to it which is unlikely as he would not be possesion of any 'thing'....yet. And of course the christian cross on top of the chapel of the school would make it a 'good' target.

Ok, I would release the imformation only this much (to avoid complication and apparently requested by the school)...What I want to say is actually that some stupid reporters from 'omy.com.sg' and online 'newspaper' under SPH, came and interviewed me and ashraff who stupidly enjoyed the limelight and told them so much until they wanted to record the 'interview' when I already pretended that I did not know anything which was obviously a lie thanks to ashraff revealing it. the scouted us at the bus stop relentlessly saying 'help uncle lah'...'help help uncle lah' but we strongly objected and the many policemen nearby who was watching did ont do anything, when we tried so hard to get away form the supid 'reporters' (disissively chucked between inverted comas).

Oh ya, the 'good' thing is that NCC air company camp is postponed, like i have anything to do with it...and the school should be 'strictly' cleared of students by 6.30pm.

Actually much more things happened but I just dont want to be so 'kay poh'...

2008-02-22T18:05:00.002+08:00

Omg, Singapore actually won the right to host the Youth Olympics 2010. Omg.... I wouldnt have believed it in the first place if I hadnt watched the video for myself at CityHall. It was so nerve recking you wouldnt imagine...I was like holding my breath, my heart almost coming out of my heart expecting to hear 'Moscow' but in the end it turned out to be Singapore. Ok, not that I underestimate singapore and thus expect moscow to win...but I always expect the worse in any case...I'm so happy and excited....Finally....I was screaming my heart out during the announcement. screaming like I have never done so wildly and crazily in public, continuously for half an hour...omg...Singapore's efforts have paid off....CONGATULAIONS, SINGAPORE!!!

2008-02-07T09:03:00.001+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

The year of the rat huh? Come to think about it, I've got four cousins, my grandmother, my brother and one other person whom I've forgotten I think who is born in the year of the rat!

Time really flies. Three of my cousins and my brother are having PSLE this year which means that they are 12 y/o. Next year they will all be Secondary one....*sigh*...*feeling nostalgic*...

Anyway, my resolutions for the new year :

1) To put in more effort in my academic work and thus to do well for my exams (because I have not been studying much the past years, I was just like completing homework)

2) To stay healthy and exercise more (no need for elaboration)

3) To have a healthy, happy family

4) ....

5) ....

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Basically, have a prosperous, successful year ahead of everyone!!!

2008-02-03T09:00:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone!!! Ok, my post today is about yesterday actually. I and Ashraff went to watch Hady Mirza's concert at Temasek Polytechnic Convention Hall. Well, actually is he invite me to go one so I agreed. Ok anyway it was sooooo fun. Mediacorp artiste Kevin was also there to host. You know after the concert when almost everyone went home, I and Ashraff were still there. The rest who stayed back were mostly girls. Ok, thats not the point. The student union of TP sort of guarded a room with Hady inside and everyone crowded outside there. We even took pictures of his car. lol. Anyway there was a window facing the outside where Hady was standing. So i and ashraff went down there and wanted to wave but ashraff stupidly stoned and then Hady walked away from the window already.

After that we wanted to go home but did not want to waste the opportunity so we went back up. After some time he came out and everyone followed him. Of course the Stupid student union were like standing around him to 'guard' him. And then we took photos and we almost lost our chance for autograph until we all reached his car.

He stopped outside his car because some avid fans requested strongly for photos. He was facing the front and there was no one at the back so we took the opportunity to get his autograph. The stupid Ashraff thought I did not dare to ask. But I already tapped his shoulder. Then he turned back. Then I also turned back to look for Ashraff and I was sooooooo shocked already. He was not there. He was stonning some distance away. Luckily he was alert enough, then he quickly came to my rescue. Ok, I know this whole thing sounds very drama....anyway....Oh ya, Ashraff also shook hands with him and got the idea from somewhere that he would not ever wash it. But in the end he even scanned his hand...

2008-01-29T15:56:00.000+08:00

*sob*

*sniff*

I'm really sad and dissapointed today

*sob*

....because I got 17/50 for an english comprehension and summary which is the lowest in class and the next lowest is like 23/50.

*sniff*

Moreover, this comprehension is counted in first term assessments. This is probably the first time I have failed anything, or ok, maybe the second.

*sob*

The worse thing is Ashraff seems so secretly delighted upon finding out, and cannot stop grinning when he saw my paper.

I really feel so stressed, and I' will have to stop here partly because I am in no mood to continue and that a huge pile of homework is still waiting for me to complete.

P.S I did not really cry
P.S.S Nor was I really that sad
P.S.S.S Because I found out that it was 17/20, not 17/50

No lah, I was just trying to comfort myself, but to no avail, because when I looked up at my desk, I saw he paper again which clearly states 17/50.

*sob*

2008-01-24T15:20:00.000+08:00

O'level results come out today!!! Yay!!!

Ok, not like it has anything to do with me...

Anyway, my cousin, Fangying is getting her results today. I'm not sure if she is excited at all, but I sure am...actually I'm not sure why. Anyway, she has a tendancy to think that she did very badly at PSLE and subsequently will do very badly for O'levels. I think the comparison that her parents make of her to my other cousins is getting to her. I'm not very sure why her parents say that she did very badly, but if 240 for PSLE is bad, then 70% of singaporeans are doing extremely badly. Ok, different people got different expectations...

Anyway, the main thing I want to talk about in this post is that SJI IS A VERY LOUSY SCHOOL, AND PEOPLE WHO GOT SONS DOING PSLE THIS YEAR, DONT SEND THEM THERE. Ok, Im just joking. You know SJI did the best in O'levels this year and the best is like an average LIB5 of 10.8 in 156 years of history. WOW, like its very good like that. Moreover, the school is making such a big fuss out of it like making next monday a holiday and organising a mass after school today to thank God for the 'good' results our school has ever achieved. Of course I'm not complaining that next monday is a holiday.

One more thing I want to complain about. You know today some stupid ex-students of SJI came back to school to collect their results. Of course that is not the problem, but the problem is that they were making so much noise in school and outside my classroom. They must shout 'hello' to the teachers as if they are deaf or something. After that they will stand outside and make lots of noise like laughing and joking and my stupid class actually laughed at their jokes and gave them the attention that they wanted. And when the principle announced they 'good' results and the L1B5 of 10.8, claiming that it was the best in SJI history, the whole school cheered like as if what like that.

I'm so ashamed of SJI of the prospect that they can actually be so happy over such 'good' results. No lah...I'm just joking.

2008-01-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

Hey, its only 3 days into school and I'm already like so stressed....you know O'level is like next year for me and the teachers make it sound like its next month or something...Help!!!! I'm feel so exhausted already...getting settled down in a new class, taking 9 subjects....omg...how am I going to survive??? Lessons end at 3.30pm on monday and 2.10pm every other day plus CCA...plus so much homework already, plus my school is quite far from my house!!!

Somebody, SAVE me from the woes of academia!!!

2008-01-02T18:08:00.001+08:00

ALAS, PICTURES!!!!!

2007-12-27T11:38:00.000+08:00

Geezzzzz....

My previous post was.....

Anyway, I would like to take back some words I said....which I did not really mean. The part about me doing all the work while others are sitting back and critisizing me instead of appreciating it. Well, I could have been describing myself actually. I am the one always relaxing letting other people(my parents) do the work and still not appreciating what they have done. In other words I'm lazy....

Before I go on to anything, I would like to sincerely apologise to anyone or anything whom I might have hurt with my insults whatsoever. I can consider myself to have blunt sensitivity as I'm not good with spoken words.

Now back to what I intend to post this time round....I think I might have neglected my faithful - (non-existence) - readers a post on my trip to Australia. I must say as I might have already said in my previous post, that this was on of the most eventful trip I've been to so far...We are on our feet most of the time, doing things. As most people might have put it, not enough free and leisure time. We went to three theme parks during our stay at gold coast which can provide nothing much execpt limited shopping and of course, thrilling rides which some people might not enjoy. Me included for extremely thrilling rides.

Well, the first two days were spent at Tangalooma dolphin resort. I am sure that this is the part where most Singaporeans have missed out on. I know that countless of Singaporeans flock to Gold Coast every year as most people whom I know have already been there. The famous movie world, sea world and dreamworld widely recognised in Singapore. There was even a singapore flag in movie world probably to recognise that many Singaporeans flock there every year. Others included the american, malaysian, japanese, chinese and of course australian flags.

A lazy person that I am, I will continue updating you on more of the trip some other time with pictures(I cannot guarantee).

OH NO....SCHOOL IS STARTING AND I HAVENT COMPLETE HOMEWORK....AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!1

2007-12-04T15:32:00.000+08:00

Watch this video from linkin park...its....beautiful...

2007-11-28T15:09:00.000+08:00

Well.....people all around the world should have started to notice it....

Or maybe they are just too ignorant...

There's definitely something wrong....

There's a significant change....

Odd isnt it....

It comes and gos at such weird intervals....

But maybe people did not care....as long as it does not affect them directly...

YET.......

Well...I'm not turning crazy...at least not yet, what I'm actually referring to is the weather or more scientifically...the climate

Well, I dont think anyone has noticed it...but it rained about 4 times yesterday....each lasting from 5 minutes to about an hour....(you must be thinking: "this guy is so exaggerative...if theres such a word...") Well...you are RIGHT....partially....I must admit that my figures about the frequency and the duration of the rain is inaccurate but it is somewhat a close estimate...

Well...what I'm really trying to say is....we are indeed starting to feel the ails of Global Warming

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....................

How fanatical and imaginative I really can be???

PS. I was partially in the right state of my mind when I wrote this post.
PPS. However, the part about the Global Warming is true to me

PPPS. There's a small-scale storm outside my window right now and it seems to be stopping although it just started 3 minutes ago....

*shivers*

2007-11-26T10:52:00.000+08:00

This post has got to do with the previous one. Although I may 'seem' like an internet amateur (or to be exact a BLOGGING amateur), I do not encourage some Tom, Dick or Harry to start sending me links leading to some undesirable sites. I would like to sincerely apologise to those whom might have given me useful links but was not used anyway.

-By the BLOGGING (or rather making blogskins) amateur

2007-11-20T17:17:00.000+08:00

Looks like this half-dead, obsolete blog has very little viewership. Ok, I know my blogging skills are terrible, and worse of all, I'm not doing anything about it....*sigh*...I guess I have to admit I'm not the experimiental type who tries out everything he or she for that matter can. In other words, Im either really stupid or plain lazy...lets hope its the latter. Moreover, although my computer or laptop is quite new, I must say that it really lacks in up to date features of softwares...adobe or whatever...I'm also the type who dont just go to'blogskins.com' and simply rip off other people's work. I also know I should not consistently seek my cousin's help everytime. Besides, we have different personalities and tastes. I really need someone to teach me what to do, what softwares to get, which websites to get my resources and so on? I'm also not the type to start small, which means I'm just impatient. Ok, enough of I'm this and I'm that.

Lets get on to the next topic - my holidays. I can safetly say that I am very occupied this holidays, at least compared to the other holidays, but its still boring. I also have lots of homework to do which I just cant get started on. I know that in the end I would just push it to the end of holidays.

Words to describe my personality during typical holidays

1. Procrastinating

2. Stressed

3. Procrastinating

4. Stressed

5. Procrastinating

6. Stressed

2007-11-12T20:28:00.000+08:00

Its been sometime since I blogged again. Anyway, Im already almost three weeks into my holidays and is already finding it very bored. Well, in this post, I want to talk about the ace camp, which should already be an outdated topic as it was four weeks or rather a month ago.
Anyway, it was the first time I went overseas without my family for camp. And CAN YOU BELEIVE IT, I was sick on the first day of the camp. So it was the end of it. JUST JOKING, well there were two camps, so instead of going malaysia with my class, not to mention my family, i went with another class which i don't even know anyone in, not even from the same CCA as they were transferred to camp one. YOU KNOW WHY? Because camp 2 clashes with my CCA course. OMG. But I still had to go ace camp or need to go next year. SO FRUSTRATING. Anyway the camp is very eventful, with 201. I too lazy to talk about the camp, but I can describe it in one word, it was 'FUN'. But I had to try to work together with 201.

I went Escape with Jun Hao, Jeremy, Jia Wei and Jordan the previous Sunday. We spent 5 hours playing all the rides over and over again. Then we went inside the haunted house about 10 times, scaring other people inside there. Lol, so lame. After that, I got my nokia 5610 express music. Inside got preloaded songs from The Click Five, Linkin Park, and Josh Groban.

Tomorrow, im going to Linkin Park concert...omg...cant wait. This Friday going to get my posting results.

But for now......

2007-10-08T16:54:00.000+08:00

I virtually forgotten that I actually have a blog until recently. OMG, my last post was ages ago and it sounded so melancholy or whatever. Anyway, the reason that I remembered having this blog was when I used my old laptop and saw the history of URL there. If not, it would have already been d-e-a-d, if it was not already. Anyway, end of years have just finished...YAY! Dont tell me we are already reaching the end of 2007...

Ok, anyway i just had my streaming...really hope i will do well for it so i can do the subjects i want next year...I have been busy studying or rather slacking...and i dont feel like talking about the holidays...there is so much to do then...camps, CCA and stuff...mostly CCA...really hope i can use my holidays wisely....

Good luck for anyone who are having exams or are already getting back your results!

PS. I actually got a lot more to say...but too lazy to type....
PSS. Hope my summary of events is 'informative' enough....
PSSS. Dont you think that I'm always complaining about things in my posts, or else sounding melancholy????

2007-06-24T11:28:00.000+08:00

Hey, finally decided to start a blog again...dunno why actually....but anyway the first half of 2007 has already passed without me blogging and stuff. Nothing much changed for me since last year. As usual, there's nothing much for me to say...

Oh yeah, by the way this 'ancient' five for fighting blogskin that I have been using for a very very long time without change is going to be changed quite soon, that is if my cousin finishes with the new one as soon as possible and oh yeah, yes, my blogging skill have not improved one bit since once upon a time, but of course I know how to edit and stuff but the basic structure and pictures, its a nono for me.

Have been feeling quite down and emotionally unstable the past few days because of pressure to finish the huge amount of holiday homework. In fact, this is not the first time it happened this year. Before the mid years, I was so pressurised by my friends and the fierce competition to excel in my class, I ended up not studying at all the weekend just before the exams...can you belive it? I could have slacked any other weekend, but I was so stressed out, I did not even went into my room to look at my books but watched television the whole weekend JUST BEFORE the exams.

Anyway, I have been felling alittle bored this holiday despite the amount of work. You see, my holiday is spent watching TV, playing computer, doing homework, eating, shitting, urinating, bathing, sleeping, breathing feeling presurrised and stressed out. Its like I just finished my holiday homework today, the day before school reopens when I should have finished them a week ago.

Anyway, yeah, that was my holiday, tomorrow can go back to school already, finally, I guess term 3 will be even more hectic. Hope I will be able to cope. Looking forward to my new blogskin and a GOOD term ahead of me!!!